A conversation with a friendly acquaintance a week or two ago comes to mind as I sit to write. It was about after the time when things have changed, are changing and should change; and feelings. The question that would summarise the content of it was: What does it take to move on and change how things are?

My answer would be vulnerability. His response was risk and taking it.

I see his point as he was considering his life action from the point of view of predicting an outcome that was safe. Risk is inevitable in every action. Risk assessment is a way of life for many. Fear is a strong driving force in our DNA, after all it has protected the species for millennia. If fear is the only driving force though it will limit our actions, potentially perceiving risk where there isn’t any.

Vulnerability was my take. It doesn’t mean you don’t have boundaries and accept all options. Boundaries are really important but they are about what you value and love as much as keeping out fear. Vulnerability to a potential future is about being open to it without guarantee of the outcome.

In a popular culture that encourages visioning and goal set with exact limits of what will occur at the end of a set time, it is difficult to follow the creative and potentially random nature of the creative process. Much like the process that trees grow and become within. We accept that plants and animals adapt to the circumstances as they occur over time. We expect a plant to grow, change, die back, grow again and respond to the seasons. We accept that some plants and animals have limited life spans if any at all. Yet we struggle with this reality about our own lives.

Somehow we have decided we should get what we want the way we want it and we choose stories we tell ourselves about how that will happen. It requires a lot of controlling and second guessing to design and make a made to order life. I worked within an environment where that was sort of part of my job. Adults had visions for their children and made it my job to get them to resemble as closely as possible what they wanted. The things is with children, particularly children with special needs this is not likely to happen. They can and do become the best people they will be but that may not resemble the designer order.

Vulnerability is simply being open and response within the values of your life. Nothing will protect anyone from suffering and pain except not being alive. Vulnerability allow that there is another motivation for change which is simply love for yourself within your life. Love for our own-selves allows us to to choose with kindness, allowing for the potential that we have nothing to prove only ourselves to find reasons for gratitudes.

So maybe both are part of the same whole. Vulnerability that has respect for myself means I will understand the potential outcomes and choose boundaries that value my beliefs BUT I will allow life to keep happening. It is so often an unexpected journey to beautiful and unexpected moments and people.

Life is a gift and we get to live it.

Happy Day

Sandy