So exactly two years ago today I drew the lady in this picture. She in her tree lined way is going to be the cover to ‘journey to beautiful’. She was a moment of deep meaning, I was beginning to be able to breathe again in big breaths after my grand baby girl had passed some months before. Feeling wasn’t always sad. She did however have bigger meaning for me than just that moment. Nothing ever really takes away times when to revisit my little girl means passing through those shallow breaths again to touch the deep love that is always fro her.

Crossing over that rope bridge into a place that was in many ways similar to what had been is sort of life life. That day I remember feeling particularly beautiful and shiny within. Without would be up to the onlooker and there are rarely any others so who would know. We all use words about life to explain it and hold it in a way we think others and even ourselves will judge a good life. In the summation of where I have come in the two years hence, life is simply a gift and we live it.

That day I had hope that if I simply kept walking eventually I would get to share my life with someone significant for me. It hasn’t happened yet, that someone to share joy and good morning with. I have met with countless lovely people who have generously shared parts of their lives with me so I would feel less alone in the walk. There is something about being able to say, remember to another and not need words to share the moment, I don’t get that very often. It is special and should not be put down if you do. It is always the blessing of kindness that reminds me I am ok, and for a moment that I matter somewhere in the world. We all want that, I am just brave enough to say it out loud. Most are not, they wait for someone to say it mystically to make it acceptable.

Today i remembered for some reason that involved a loud alarm system that was horrific going off next to me and not being able to process the moment because of it that made me remember I had drawn on this day, two years ago….I have walked my journey to beautiful and I know that I am. I accept that I am and can say it now. It is still hard just to say thank you when someone tells me I am beautiful without wanting to repay the compliment. It is still hard to accept kindness without thinking I have to pay for it somehow. It is what we do…..watch people….

Be kind.

Sandy