I have spent sometime in the past 12 months playing with idea of the real meaning of words. Simple words that often get overlooked or overused in new contexts that shadow their meaning. Words like, ‘like’ and ‘self’ and ‘nice’….. and most recently ‘enough’. A lot of pressure has been added to our lives the additional emotional charging of words that were once comfortable and often kind in their meaning.

I recently said to someone who walks life with a different drummer to me that I had enough for this day and I know I will be enough when I need to be. She became agitated at this thought as enough meant that you weren’t striving to be more than you can be. In her thinking she is never enough and always has to do and be more and better than she is in this moment. I ask where is the kindness to self and the self love and respect that everyone says is the answer to everything. I reflected back to her that I am good enough for today and I am simply good enough. It brings me peace. Her way of thinking leads to self denigration and self dis-satisfaction. In a sense she is at ‘war’ with herself and where she has found herself in this now.

I understand the basis of it comes from a sporting or coaching mindset that trains specifically to be able to do more than what is needed and to beat other people at the given activity. Competition leads to discontent it seems. I choose NOT to live that way or think about myself or my achievements that way.

If you look back at what you had and did five years ago it was different to now. If you look back ten, twenty or as many years as you can remember; it is possible to see that trusting yourself is a part of self love. I have learnt I managed and did and learnt all through the years. I know more now than I did then. I can do my work better now than then….not because I set a coaching target but because I paid attention and when I knew better I did better….the same will be true in ten years time.

I choose kind words that let me trust how this grand thing called life will turn out….this gift that I get to live in as a gift. That is the word I choose for me. If you want to make your life into something harder or more self-punishing and limit your ability to see how amazing you are…that is your choice please leave me out of it. I choose for kindness to be an action of caring not something that will payoff my karmic debt or make me feel anything. I choose to be nice because that is what manner and respect for self and other demands. I choose the little words in my days that help me talk about my life and experiences as I share them with others.

I would rather a life in which I don’t have to tell people about it because they are living experiences with me. Life and relationships aren’t Facebook news-feeds. They are whole memory chunks that would be nicer shared….and remembered. Until then little words mean a lot so choose them and know them and let them enhance your sense of yourself.